I will be the first one to admit that I procrastinate a lot.
Precious time slipped through my fingers.
My thoughts are a trap and they have me caught.
Like a spectator, at the sides I linger.
Imagine that it is your birthday party,
But you are one of the guests.
My thoughts are doing the dirty,
And they have my head all messed.
“Hey Shira, remember how the one you loved left you?
Like the one before that and before that too?
We really think that something with you is askew,
Because with you, everyone just wants to screw.”
No, no, you are wrong.
Well, at least, I think you are.
I’ve put people before me all along,
And yet, they’ve all gone far.
It breaks me inside to see this happen,
Over and over again.
All this has done my spirit a dampen,
Makes me want to cut open a vein.
But then I am reminded,
Of the child I want to mother.
That thought makes me feel undecided;
I don’t want to pick up the razor and go further.
In those brief moments of clarity,
I understand what is wrong with me.
Because I hate myself with such severity,
Anyone who wants to love me will flee.
Your mind is a muscle,
You will have to train it.
Look after it when it is causing you trouble,
But keep working till it’s fit.
Your brain is as active as you let it be.
Self-love isn’t easy but it will keep you content.
Only you are constant because people will arrive and flee.
Mind over matter is the only thing that is important.