Mind over Matter

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I will be the first one to admit that I procrastinate a lot.

Precious time slipped through my fingers.

My thoughts are a trap and they have me caught.

Like a spectator, at the sides I linger.

 

Imagine that it is your birthday party,

But you are one of the guests.

My thoughts are doing the dirty,

And they have my head all messed.

 

“Hey Shira, remember how the one you loved left you?

Like the one before that and before that too?

We really think that something with you is askew,

Because with you, everyone just wants to screw.”

 

No, no, you are wrong.

Well, at least, I think you are.

I’ve put people before me all along,

And yet, they’ve all gone far.

 

It breaks me inside to see this happen,

Over and over again.

All this has done my spirit a dampen,

Makes me want to cut open a vein.

 

But then I am reminded,

Of the child I want to mother.

That thought makes me feel undecided;

I don’t want to pick up the razor and go further.

 

In those brief moments of clarity,

I understand what is wrong with me.

Because I hate myself with such severity,

Anyone who wants to love me will flee.

 

Your mind is a muscle,

You will have to train it.

Look after it when it is causing you trouble,

But keep working till it’s fit.

 

Your brain is as active as you let it be.

Self-love isn’t easy but it will keep you content.

Only you are constant because people will arrive and flee.

Mind over matter is the only thing that is important.

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Rain wet

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The clouds rumble outside.

You’re warm inside.

Hands a tangle, hair a mess,

And the heat of a lingering caress.

Thunder following flashes of light,

For sore eyes you’re a soothing sight.

Broad shoulders, bobbing Adam’s apple,

Scent of you mixed with the scented candle.

Pitter patter on the leaves and roof,

It sets the mood; a playlist that is foolproof.

This is snuggle weather.

Might bring two people together.

In the Biblical sense.

In a way that is intense.

 

Less clothes, lesser inhibitions,

It’s all about finding the correct position.

Feel the rain blanket the mood,

Make it warm and fuzzy and a little lewd.

Make it wet, make me soaked,

Make you sweat, senses choked.

Light up the room, arch my back,

Touch the womb; I welcome the attack.

 

Stars erupt amidst the darkness,

After a beat, there is stillness.

The sound of heavy breathing,

As a result of satisfactory pleasing.

Still a little sensitive to touch,

But nothing of this is too much.

 

It’s dark outside.

It’s the perfect time for a ride.

Rain cries

Rain cries

Splishes and sploshes.

Big splishes and bigger sploshes.

My black boots are stained,

The puddles have browned them.

Yet a steady pace is maintained,

For I’m already so late.

My watch shows half past eight.

I’ve lost half an hour,

Of having my heart slowly detonate,

In your presence.

 

The rain is coming down in sheets.

My heart is thumping with quicker beats.

Would you still look the same?

Scruffy beard and hair standing straight?

Your beard too wild to tame;

Your hair like you stepped out of a shoot.

Will you be wearing one of your shirts?

Neatly pressed with the sleeves rolled up?

With the smile which makes my heart hurt,

And that head tilt that accompanies it.

 

I’m almost there, just a minute more.

If I squint, I can see the restaurant door.

I am still amazed,

That you agreed to see me.

Even after the way I behaved,

Even after you fleed.

 

I hope I don’t stutter,

Or get food stuck in my teeth.

My heart is already a flutter,

All this running is making it difficult to breathe.

The rain has messed my hair,

And the washed eyeliner makes me look like a bear.

Not the look I was picturing,

When I was applying lipstick with hands quivering.

 

Splishes and sploshes.

Big splishes and bigger sploshes.

You aren’t here.

But you’re never late.

You never meant to make it to this date.

You played me,

Like I played you.

Should have seen this coming,

Should have foreseen this hurting.

For it was only me loving,

And you running.

What now?

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Where do we go after we die?

What do we do after we’re done with this life?

What now after the tries and cries?

Is it nothing or is there an afterlife?

 

Will I be able to return to my mortal shell?

Or will I be ripped apart from my skin?

Heaven or Hell; where will I dwell?

Does afterlife mean that my time on Earth was a win?

 

Or is there no divine light?

Just an endless void of nothingness?

Where the loneliness will slowly start time bite,

As I go crazy with no one to witness.

 

Perhaps the life on Earth is all that is there,

After you die, you cease to exist.

No emotions, no more tear and wear,

Your time here is done; you’re dismissed.

Hi, I miss you

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Hi, I miss you.

Why did you walk away?

I thought we’d be friends till our hair turned grey.

 

Hi, I miss you.

I connected with you on a different level,

Even when our shared interests weren’t several.

 

Hi, I miss you.

I reminisce about your stupid puns.

With you, I’ve had so much fun.

 

Hi, I miss you.

I told you the stuff I was ashamed about,

You told me your carefully guarded secrets aloud.

 

Hi, I miss you.

With so much history shared in a short while,

I never thought it was me you would exile.

 

Hi, I miss you.

The sheer sense of satisfaction that I get with you,

Is now a memory on a loop which makes me rue.

 

Hi, I miss you.

You said that us not talking would kill you inside,

But you stopped talking; to me you lied.

 

Hi, I miss you.

Was it easy for you to forget me?

Because the memories aren’t setting me free.

 

Hi, I miss you.

I know, I’ve known you for a very short time.

Yet, you make me feel enough to put you in a rhyme.

 

Hi, I miss you.

I thought you wanted us to be friends.

Then why did you make this end?

Brown families

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When we all gather at someone’s place,

It’s never less than thirty of us.

Redundant becomes the concept of personal space,

As we eagerly eat food and discuss.

 

It starts off innocuous with work place drama,

And then proceeds to the economy.

Talk about how the political scenario is a trauma,

And that the politicians are doing stand-up comedy.

 

The women mention food and the men agree,

Plates and plates of savories are bought in.

How we manage to finish so much baffles me,

No wonder most of us are fat with double chins.

 

Religion then takes the center stage,

As the mood becomes a little somber.

One wrong word and there’s immediate outrage,

Tempers rise and things get out of order.

 

More food is the way to calm things down,

As long as they’re eating, they can’t shout.

With food this good, it’s difficult to frown,

Soon they forget what the argument was about.

 

The newest additions to the family are fawned over,

With them everyone is enamored.

In such an atmosphere, you can’t be a loner,

Else they’ll ask you: “Where are your manners?”

Ice-cream

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Come on, make yourself feel comfortable.

I want to tell you a story.

It is not your standard fairytale of happiness,

Most of it is a little gory.

 

When I was five, stubby with pigtails,

A big man visited.

He came in the dark, dressed in black,

In me, he was interested.

 

My parents were sleeping when he arrived,

So he let them sleep.

He told me to pack and that we were going on a trip,

From my window, we did a leap.

 

He had a nice big car with sliding doors,

Inside was dirty.

He started wiping clean a big knife,

The one which we used to carve the turkey.

 

He said we have to go to his home first,

Wait for his friends.

He started driving a little too harsh,

Curving roughly around the bends.

 

I missed my momma, I told him.

He said soon.

Soon I’ll be having a lot of fun,

Better than watching cartoon.

 

We reached his home after a while,

It was a big place.

Seemed like he didn’t know to mow his lawn.

Overgrowth over the entire space.

 

I wanted my momma, I told him.

He looked at me with a glare.

I told him that I didn’t want the trip.

His eyes were doing me a scare.

 

He opened the door and pushed me in.

I fell down, crying.

He told me that big girls don’t cry,

And if I don’t shut up, things will be horrifying.

 

He sat me on the sofa and gave me water to drink.

The water tasted bitter.

But he was glaring so I drank it.

Even though it made me want to throw up my dinner.

 

I don’t remember much of what happened afterwards.

Perhaps, somebody touched me?

My head was paining and I was nauseous,

My memory of that night seems to flee.

 

I tell you my story as I wait for my next friend.

I’m fourteen years today.

If I lie still and let my friend have his fun,

I’ll get an ice-cream at the end of the day.

Another sob story

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What do you do when one-sided love doesn’t end?

Please advise, I’m asking for a friend.

She thinks about him and her heart beats faster,

She can feel the threat of an impending disaster.

She tried the”out of sight, out of mind” theory,

But the effort it takes is making her weary.

Have you ever dreamt of something so much,

That you start using your dreams as a crutch?

Ordinary things don’t seem so ordinary anymore,

For she imagines him while doing her chores.

Her brain has never been this productive.

Her thoughts have never been this imaginative.

Important tasks are being procrastinated on,

All that time is being used on him to fawn.

Believe me, she tries her best,

But he’s got her head all messed.

I know her brain is as active as she wants it to be,

But honestly, it’s just him she wants to see.

All of her yearns to be in his presence,

Even if she spends hours with him, the attraction doesn’t lessen.

It is worse because he already knows how she feels,

He knows that for him, she’ll readily kneel.

Does he use that to his advantage?

Yes, and it often has the intended damage.

Her pillow is moist and her face is bloated,

Yet every message of his is broken and decoded.

It’s crazy how the hope never seems to diminish,

Like every time, hope is reprimanded with a punish.

Perhaps, a sadist you could call her,

Because this pain is what she prefers.

There’s this crazy thought that the pain might help achieve,

Him and his affection she’ll receive.

Ever been the victim of such a thought,

One which has your nerves with pain fraught?

Ever tried to climb out of a hole,

Only to realise that you didn’t come out whole?

Ever tried to climb out of a hole,

Only to realise that you left behind your soul?

Ever tried to climb out of a hole,

Only to fall back and lose all control?

But for real, what do you do when one-sided love doesn’t end?

Please advise, I’m asking for a friend.

Dear Papa

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I know that things between us haven’t been good,

That somehow we both are misunderstood.

You still think of me as the child you taught to walk,

For you no time has passed on the clock.

But Papa, I have changed,

With time, we both have become estranged.

I think you’re too narrow-minded,

You think it is my friends who have me blinded.

I have demands which are high-end,

You have expectations to which I’ll never ascend.

You’re quick to get angry,

And I’m quicker to get cranky.

You think talking to boys is wrong,

Yet, you sent me to a co-ed all along.

Talking to a him is alright,

It doesn’t mean that I’m doing the dirty at night.

I know when to stop,

I know the bad habits I have to drop.

 

Papa, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,

When things at work made you rue.

I know how sad you are when you go for work,

You hate it because people there are jerks.

Yet you put in those ten hours every day,

So I can get whatever I want every birthday.

You were patient as I cried,

You were my rock when mom died.

You too had lost your wife,

But you taught me that this is life.

People come and people leave,

You choose for which ones you want to grieve.

Thank you teaching me wrong and right,

Thank you for making each day bright.

Thank you for being there even when I insulted you,

Thank you for letting me to know that you can I always turn to.

I promise that I’ll try to be a better daughter,

Because at the end of the day, you’re all that matters.

The End Game

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Six people is what we started with,

Back then aliens and Gods were a myth.

But down came this ripped God with a hammer,

Hair of a rockstar and looks which made me stammer.

And if that wasn’t enough, there was his brother,

God of Mischief, he was here to make Earth suffer.

But he was thwarted and so was his plan,

By Earth’s mightiest heroes who had just began.

Every kid would now know about the Avengers,

Earth wasn’t vulnerable; we now had our defenders.

A spy who looked deadly in black,

A guy with anger problems, looking to attack.

A sharp shooter who revolutionised archery,

A soldier with righteousness running in his arteries.

A billionaire who did good with his money,

And a guy with an eye patch who always looked grumpy.

God with the hammer joined forces with them,

And that is how they saved that first blue gem.

The first among the five others,

Called infinity stones; stones of wonder.

Owner of all would hand that person great power.

A mad Titan arose with the aim to devour.

Half the Universe gone in a snap,

Half the universe gone with a zap.

Our Avengers and their friends tried their best,

But their best wasn’t enough in this contest.

Some fell, some were reduced to dust.

Friends and allies blew away in a gust.

Once again, we’ve come down to our original six.

I hope they can get together and mend and fix,

This disaster which wrecked the Universe;

Please tell me that they know how to get this to reverse.

Tomorrow is the day, tomorrow they’ll tell me their end game.

Tomorrow I’ll know whether they’ll win or die in shame.

To them, I have but one request:

For 22 movies, I’ve been with you as your guest.

And now when I know I’ll have to bid someone adieu,

Y’all better put up a fight which will make that Titan rue.